40% of men suffer from erectile dysfunction or impotence: the inability to develop or maintain an erection
What are the varying levels of sexual dysfunction for men?
Psychological impotence: what I’ll be discussing below
Cardiovascular impotence: lack of proper blood flow entering penis due to cardiovascular disease, athersclerosis, & diabetes
Neurological impotence: lack of optimal nervous system function due to neurological problems, alcoholism, and trauma from prostatectomy surgery
Hormonal impotence: testosterone deficiency and other hormonal insufficiency’s due to hypogonadism
Lifestyle impotence: prescription drug side effects affecting your cardiovascular and neurological systems, stress, depression
In this article, I’m going to discuss psychological impotence which is where an erection fails due to thoughts, feelings, relationship difficulties, emasculation, and lack of desire or feeling desired.
Meet My Husband, Kumar
When I met Kumar, he was 45 years old and thought his sexuality had disappeared forever. He had experienced a very colorful past and had checked more off of his sexual bucket list than most, therefore he was satisfied with no longer being as sexually active as he once was. (To give you a glimpse of his past, he used to masturbate 4-5x/day and have sex 3x/day up until the age of 40.)
At 41, he married a beautiful 30 year old who was fit, sexy, and from the outside, looked like she embodied her femininity and sexuality. Yet, they only had sex 18 times in a period of 18 months of being together… and when he did have sex with her, he struggled getting an erection or staying hard.
After that relationship ended, he rarely had sex and stopped masturbating, which he used to do at least once per day.
By the time I met him, he hadn’t masturbated in over 6 months and he had had sex maybe 6 times in a period of 9 months.
Now Let’s Introduce Shelly
Little did I know this about Kumar when I first met him because the signs and symptoms of impotence did NOT exist in our relationship at all from day one. The more I learn about his past and the reasons why he was content settling with his impotence, the more I reach a hypothesis for a CURE for psychological impotence!
What is the secret ingredient, you may ask…
As a woman, it is how well you embrace your femininity and sexuality.
What does that look like?
I am embodying my true, feminine essence which creates a sexual arc of polarity with his masculine essence.
When they say, “opposites attract,” this is what they mean. The feminine energy and masculine energy act as magnets that are attracted to one another. When one partner is exuding the feminine energy and the other partner is exuding the masculine energy, they will naturally be attracted to one another – physically and sexually.
I am owning my sexuality.
I have no limiting points of view about sex, orgasms, pleasure, masturbation, or my body. I’m willing to explore the depths of my sexuality without inhibitions or beliefs holding me back. I love Kumar’s body and enjoy giving him pleasure. I take into consideration his sexual needs, wants, and desires and am willing to deliver what I know will make him happy – not from a place of obligation, but from a place of joy. I wear what my husband enjoys seeing me in.
The difference between me and Kumar’s ex-wife is that I am embodying my femininity and sexuality to my core, not just “looking” the part. Unfortunately, he had to teach her how to be feminine and sexual where as I’ve always exuded this energy. By craving for sex and his body makes him feel wanted and desired, which he was lacking in his prior relationship. My enthusiasm to explore my sexuality feeds his sexuality. My femininity acts as a magnet pulling his masculinity towards me.
And if you were to explore the insides of our sex life…
It doesn’t take me 45 minutes to get turned-on… my record is 3 seconds from the beginning of foreplay to orgasm. This makes pleasuring my body fun for him because he’s not wandering around like a lost dog wondering if and when I’m going to reach the big O!
I know my sexual needs, wants, and desires and he’s willing to fulfill them.
He knows my sexual needs, wants, and desires and I’m more than willing to fulfill them.
My full body orgasms feed his body and turn him on.
I know what turns my body on and am an ACTIVE participant in any sex-related activity; meaning I give feedback, engage, ask for what I want, take charge of the situation versus just laying there and expecting him to perform for me.
I delight in giving pleasure to him and casually play with his cock every night of the week while watching a movie, despite whether he’s hard or soft, and without expectations of him performing or obligations of him returning the favor. I delight in giving for the sake of giving!
We can’t keep our hands off of each other; we are ALWAYS touching no matter where we are at.
We have sex 2-3 times per week, sometimes twice a day, and he can last 2+ hours!
Sex never gets boring, old, or complacent; it continually gets better and better.
Oh, and we utilize the tools and techniques I prescribe to my clients – we walk the talk!
Ladies – step into your femininity, stop emasculating your lover, own your sexuality, be fun, and most of all, give to your lover because the value of seeing a smile on his face is worth more than a sexless, passionless relationship!
If you would like a piece of what’s possible when you step into and own your feminine, sensual, sexual self – then contact me here for a 15-minute free consultation!